by Ejire

When will you marry: this year / next year / sometime forever'? I am at that age when getting married is supposed to be The Next Big Thing. Rumour has it that if you are unmarried at this age and you are not already planning your big day, there's something terribly wrong with you.

But if there's anything that's got something terribly wrong with it, it's this notion. And it hurts many single women. We need to put a stop to the pressure. We are young, beautiful, intelligent, virtuous, loving, generous, compassionate and most of all, happy... at least I am. As for me, I will get married one day and if I don't, well... I don't! My status should not define me.

Dear Society, please do not make us settle for less. I know that if I do, I will be unhappy; I will have to endure my marriage instead of enjoying it. How does one endure life for the rest of one's life? While I am unmarried, I have a great life, I have health, I have a great job, I am at peace, I am happy and I am safe. Does that count? Due to pressure, the single woman may get desperate and the result - she dresses up and carries herself just the way men like it. They, of course, start to approach her, and she says what she thinks they want to hear.

If she is fortunate, they like her, or at least one does.

Then one thing leads to another and they set a date. More stuff happens, and then she gets married. And in no time there is trouble.

There is trouble because she can't keep up appearances for that long! If she is lucky, he might just be verbally and emotionally abusive towards her instead of getting physical. Better still, he might give her daily doses of the very silent treatment and not care for her the way he ought to. I ask, is it all worth it? Divorce is on the increase. Folks are running out of the marriages they ran into. I don't blame them. I blame the society. Our families. Our mothers. Please S.T.O.P. the pressure. We will get married someday... God willing.

In the meantime, please let us live!

Ejire writes for