HOT DEBATE READERS!! OVER 30 AND SINGLE?

Susan's story from hot group Nigerian Women in the Diaspora:

"Over 30, single and very well adjusted, but society - well, Nigerians in particular seem to think there's something wrong with that picture. I've heard it all from 'you know too much' to something about a spirit husband!
Oh by the way, are we allowed to cuss on this board? Yes? Good!
Fortunately for me, the pressure is not from my immediate family, but so called concerned friends and family. Concerned my a$% !! I am so sick of people saying they will pray for me and I've told quite a number of them to go pray for themselves first (vrs telling them to go do something else with themselves); like being single is a sin or some kind of disease!!"

I can go on, but I'm sure you all have something to say.

Well readers what do you have to say? Guys must comment on this one!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Naijagirl,
I am laughing my butts off! I can imagine this may be a serious issue for some people. I mean people who always want to tell other how to live their lives. What if people make the couscious and take the well-thought decision to be single at any point of their live be it 30 or 50. As if being single by choice reduces the quality and takes away the value of life! Who says people who are "single" in the opinion of others are not surrounded by people who love them, but not in the way and terms of people who see single as being negative. Well, I have got news for those people. I can point them countless other people who are prisoners in horrendous relationships from hell all because of social, cultural, peer and family pressure. Well any human being with a reasonable degree of common-sense should know that everyone deserves the right to be happy in life. And it's different folks and different strokes. What works for Cain might not work for Abel. It's all about accepting and respecting one another!

Nigerican said...

i am not 30 yet but i have already started to feel the heat... not from my folks but from outsiders..."r u engaged yet", "when is the wedding", "what is wrong, y r u still single"... i smile and in return respond " God's time is the best" as sarcastic as possible *wink*.

I really don't know when single became a bad thing... i'm enjoying being single @ the moment. Even if i had someone, i would not want us to get married for the wrong reason , like being 30.

My advice to any 30 year old being harrased by questions is too keep smiling, accept the prayers ( bet u God doesn't even have time for all those marriage prayer worriors), and thank them for their concern... cus no matter what, they will keep talkin.

www.nigerican.blogspot

ShonaVixen said...

hey Naijagirl...m actually turning the big 30 this month, my family dont even put pressure on me BUT mehn some of these marriage prayer warriors are too much!!I'm happy where m at and enjoy being there but some people just feel like putting sand in sm1s soup!!I have a friend who's now dating every tom/dick/harry/shabba just coz she feels she needs to be wiv some1!!and she wonders why m so calm about it all!!And its coz m actually happy where m at!and as anon said different strokes for different folks...is it by force this marriage ting???

Zainab said...

LMAO!!! u r to funny! Am not 3o yet, but friends and family r begining to worry. If u go to an africa church, the heat there is worse than waht u get at home. By the time they r done with u, u will feel less than the man or a woman that u know u r. I belive that is why most married people have settled for less than what they want in a partner. God help us all.

Anonymous said...

I'm over 30, single, fulfilled and enjoying life. Marriage is just going to be an icing on the cake. You cannot find happiness in marriage if you dont have it already. I cut off people like that from my life. I call them pressure cookers. They put pressure on you and if you are not careful you'll get burnt. And trust me they wont be there for you when things go awry! You have all your life to be married so why rush. God's time is the best jare.

Anonymous said...

If you dont wait on God but instead get married to the wrong person or get married at the wrong time, you are going to end up where you were - SINGLE. Because if things dont work out, you will either opt out or stay in a miserable situation.
And it's this same people that will talk about you and label you as a divorcee or will let everyone know that you are not happy. So why not just wait and do it right the first time.

omolabake said...

I feel yah! A lady in my church actually confronted me one day saying that I needed to hurry up and get married since there were other young people who were already planning their wedding...can u imagine!!!
I'm married now and the next question on everyone's lip is when the baby is coming......it's seems like u can't catch a break with Naija pple.....

Shubby Doo said...

i laugh it off. Please...i'm so well adjusted. God time is best. whenever they start i say amen...i say it loudly cos i am proud to be me. I know God hears my prayers so they should carry their yeye rubbish waka go jare

Anonymous said...

Please ladies can someone just let's find the line between taking the above stances to 'comfort' ourselves and actually be real and face up to the reality that regardless of wherever the pressure if any, is coming from, we do feel like why are we by ourselves at this age and lonely while our mates' kids are getting ready for grade school...if someone can find me that fine line, then I will believe we are all being sincere...HOWEVER don't get me wrong, some people are HAPPY about being single at any age and if anything they want it that way. This does not apply to them...

Anonymous said...

i'm nearing 30, thank God there's no pressure yet from anyone to get married. However, let's try to understand where our loved ones are coming from.....our culture/values cherish early marriage. They seem to think that they have our best interest at heart by reminding or pressurizing us to get married. This is there way of saying " i care about u" Pls ladies do not get offended due to the ignorance of these individuals.

On the other hand, it seems like the majority of the "over 30 & single" ladies are well educated, financially secured with loads of degrees. Sometimes these accomplishments may result into pride which may get into the way of meeting mr. right. If you want mr. right do not let the pressure influnce your words. Remember, our words have great power.

In order to receive our heart desire, our relationship with GOD must be amended. I hope not to offend anyone but its my testimony. Once, i began to get closer & closer to GOD so many doors opened for me. I prayed for a nice cozy condo & GOD made a BIG way for something I could not have dreamt of..) rec. a good position at a big 4 company, have...... so much, when i went back to HIM on my KNEEES. Marriage is a beautiful thing & I want to be part of it, everyone should. If mr. right is not forth coming, PRAY PRAY PRAY for him, & yes prayer works trust me. I'm a diva who would not settle for less, would you ? Let me know if i can help in anyway :-)

coolgal said...

wow all this comments! loving it
@anonymous yes it is interesting how people actually live their lives through others
@nigerican that seems to be the norm once a lady hits 25
@shonavixen you really have cool folks then, once again other folks trying to live their lives through others
@anon 12.58 God's time truly is the best!